Effective date: April 28, 2026
Tend ("we", "us", "our") operates the Tend mobile application. This policy explains what data we collect, how we use it, who we share it with, and what rights you have. We believe in being straightforward, so we have written this in plain English.
Account information. When you create an account, we collect your email address, display name, and profile photo. You may optionally provide a phone number and date of birth during onboarding.
Connection data. When you add a connection, you provide their name, relationship type, love language, important dates, notes, interests, city, communication preferences, relationship goals, and proximity. You may update this information at any time.
Engagement data. We track how you interact with nudges (whether you acted on, dismissed, or skipped them), warmth signals you send or receive (including optional reason text), your caring streaks, and relationship health scores.
Pulse check data. If you and a mutual connection participate in daily pulse checks, we store the questions and answers you each provide.
Love Map data. We store your answers to questions about your connections' inner worlds (preferences, dreams, values).
Bid tracking. If you use the emotional bid feature, we record whether bids were turned toward, turned away from, or turned against.
Conflict entries. If you use Conflict First Aid, we store the conflicts you document along with their pattern classifications (e.g., criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling).
Ritual data. If you create shared rituals with connections, we store the activity details and completion history.
Device information. We collect your Firebase Cloud Messaging (FCM) token for push notification delivery, your device type, and your timezone.
Derived psychological-profile traits. Tend infers a set of high-level traits about how you approach relationships — for example, which love languages you lean toward, your communication style, and your comfort pattern. These traits are computed from your onboarding answers (and, over time, from your in-app behavior) and stored as numeric scores alongside confidence levels. They are never shared with anyone outside Tend, never named to you using clinical vocabulary, and the full set is always available via Settings > Your data > Export my data. Your personalization consent toggle governs whether these are written at all, and deleting your account removes them alongside everything else.
Usage analytics. We collect structural events about how you use Tend — which screens you visit, which buttons you tap, which features work for you. These events are metadata only (for example, "a pulse card was answered" with the category and response time, never the answer text). Events are grouped into three tiers:
You can see, change, or withdraw each of these settings at any time in Settings > Your data. Events contain no raw relationship content — only event types, categories, timestamps, and numeric metadata. Legacy Firebase Analytics continues to capture screen-view telemetry for the same purposes. We also collect crash reports through Firebase Crashlytics to fix bugs.
Subscription and payment data. If you subscribe to Tend Plus or Tend Therapy, Apple processes your payment. We receive confirmation of your subscription tier and its validity, but we do not see or store your payment method details.
Newsletter subscription. If you subscribe to our newsletter, we store your email address and subscription date.
We use Anthropic's Claude AI to generate personalized nudges, "Help me say it" coach drafts, conflict reframings, weekly reports and digests, AI-mediated couple conversations, and to reply to comments and DMs on our official Instagram account. Before any prompt reaches Claude, we apply a strict redaction layer.
What we never send to Claude:
What we do send to Claude:
For AI-mediated couple conversations specifically — message text flows through the redaction layer turn by turn. Each session has a stable placeholder mapping (the same partner gets the same placeholder name across every turn) so the AI's understanding of "who said what" remains consistent across the whole conversation. The AI's reply is restored to real names before it appears in your chat.
How we enforce this. Immediately before every call to Claude, a fail-closed gate inspects the final prompt and aborts the call if any registered name or structural-PII pattern is detected. The gate is non-optional, runs on every code path that reaches the API, and is covered by a 95-case unit-test suite plus a regression-eval suite that runs on every code change to the AI pipeline.
Per Anthropic's API terms of service, data sent via their API is not stored by Anthropic beyond the duration of the request and is not used to train their models.
We do not sell your personal data. We share data only in the following cases:
With mutual connections. When you and another Tend user are mutual connections, the following is shared between you: your name, profile photo, warmth signals (including reason text), and pulse check answers. If you update your profile name or photo, those changes automatically sync to your connections.
User lookup (before connection). When someone searches for you by email to send a connection request, they can see your name, profile photo, love language, and date of birth before you accept the request.
Service providers. We use the following third-party services to operate Tend:
Legal requirements. We may disclose your data if required by law, court order, or governmental regulation, or if necessary to protect our rights, safety, or property.
We run two parallel analytics systems. Both are metadata-only: neither ever captures the text you type, the content of pulses or nudges, or any other relationship content.
Personalization event log (first-party). When you use the app we record structural events — for example "pulse card viewed for 12 seconds then answered, answer length 87 characters" — into your own private event store on our servers. These events power the personalization that makes nudges feel like they're meant for you. They are divided into three tiers:
We also operate a runtime kill switch that lets us turn off event collection across the service in an emergency (for example, a cost runaway or a privacy incident). The kill switch takes effect within minutes server-side.
Your controls in Settings > Your data:
Certain security-audit events (sign-in successes and failures, permission grants/denials, confirmed account deletions) are retained for 24 months regardless of your retention setting, because security and fraud investigations routinely need a longer window than ordinary events.
Firebase Analytics (third-party). We use Firebase Analytics to understand aggregate screen-view patterns. Events track structural actions only (for example, "user viewed the Discover tab") and never include relationship content.
Firebase Crashlytics. We use Crashlytics to collect crash reports, which include device type, operating system version, and stack traces. This helps us find and fix bugs. Crashes do not capture your data.
We do not collect advertising identifiers (IDFA).
Push notifications are delivered via Firebase Cloud Messaging (FCM) and Apple Push Notification service (APNs). Notification content may include nudge text, connection names, and warmth signal descriptions. You can disable push notifications at any time in your device settings.
Regardless of where you live, you have the following rights:
For residents of the European Union / European Economic Area:
For California residents (CCPA):
Tend is not intended for anyone under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personal data from children under 13. If we learn that we have collected data from a child under 13, we will delete that data promptly. If you believe a child under 13 has provided us with personal data, please contact us at privacy@tend.guru.
Your data is processed in the United States via Google Cloud (Firebase) and Anthropic. By using Tend, you consent to the transfer of your data to the United States, where data protection laws may differ from those in your country.
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. For material changes, we will notify you through the app or by email. Your continued use of Tend after changes are posted constitutes your acceptance of the updated policy.
If you have questions about this Privacy Policy or want to exercise any of your rights, contact us at privacy@tend.guru.